In July, I took a trip to Boston for my last coach training, and learned one of my greatest lessons. The training was an hour away from the airport, outside the city, so I booked a taxi ahead of time. The driver arrived in a 15-passenger van to pick up, well…me. He asked me what I was doing in Boston. I told him I was there for a coach training and explained a little about what I do. He said “I could use some coaching.” I giggled because people say that jokingly to me all the time. He meant it.

Three years ago, a friend of his embezzled $400,000 from him. He has spent the past three years battling in court, trying to get his money back, to no avail. The man IS paying him back, but in monthly chunks of about $200. The driver will never see all his money again. His whole life was derailed, all his plans thrown away. He is in his 50’s, was planning to retire very soon and was going to use some of the money to send his granddaughter to college. Now, he must work 6 days a week, starting at 1:30 am, just to barely pay his bills, and he will be working many more years than planned. I could almost feel the anger oozing out of him. He told me he spends every waking moment, thinking about this wrongdoing, what life would look like if he still had his money. He said he didn’t like feeling this way, but he didn’t know how to stop.

I validated his feelings and asked him a few questions. “How is holding on to this hurting your life?” and “What are the benefits of holding on?” His responses were clear; there was no benefit, only hurt. The anger was affecting him, his family, and those around him. I could almost hear the gears turning in his head. Validating him and asking questions were a big deal, but almost as important was how I listened. I didn’t give advice, or get angry for him. I listened and used my skills as a coach to ask him empowering questions, helping him to get out of his own way.

As we got close to my destination, it was only 8am. I had taken the red-eye, barely slept all night, and was arriving at my hotel. I had no idea when I would be able to check-in or how long I’d be waiting in the lobby. My driver had the same concern. He found me a place to get breakfast and coffee before dropping me off. When we arrived, I reached for my wallet to get his tip. He saw me, and refused to take the money, telling me to put it away. He thanked me for listening and talking with him and was on his way.

Four days later, my training was over and I was sightseeing around Boston when my phone rang. It was the taxi driver! He wanted to make sure I had a safe trip into Boston. We chatted about my trip so far and the Red Sox game I’d be attending that evening (he remembered!). Then he said “I wanted to thank you again for listening to me and for what you said. I really appreciated it and it really helped.”

WOW. I was finally starting to see the impact I left on this man, and it was all because I gave him my undivided attention, asked a few questions and listened.

I was living my purpose in the moment. I never thought I’d be coaching my taxi driver! The most incredible lesson here, is how powerful lending an ear to someone can be. Just being with them and truly listening is incredibly powerful and any of you can do that. People don’t always need you to give advice, or need you to “say the right thing,” but to simply listen. People just want to be heard. We tend to get so caught up in our own minds, thinking about the rat race and our to-do lists, that we have a hard time paying attention to others, especially those we love. How would your life change if you took time out of your day to truly listen to those you love?

I invite you to consciously focus on being present for the next week and notice the difference in your interactions. Those around you will also notice and lives will begin to shift.

I’d love to hear how this goes for you. Please post your stories below. Can’t wait to hear about it!